Day of Service, Month of Mentoring, Lifetime of Reward

Today we celebrate the birth of Martin Luther King Jr., but not just his birthday, but also what he stood for. The day is rightfully called the Martin Luther King Day of Service and encourages involvement in our communities. Dr. King inspired an ethic of selfless service to others. How appropriate then that the month of his birth is designated as National Mentoring Month, for what is mentoring than giving of yourself to others.

There is nothing so important as helping others to learn and grow, to make good decisions, to not be defeated by mistakes, and to have a foundation of support.

I have been fortunate to have great mentors in my life, some formal and most informal. The informal ones were role models, people I watched and learned from, who inspired me to behave in certain ways, to take action, to get involved.

Growing up in the volatile 1960s and 70s, Dr. King was one of those inspirational role models for me, an informal mentor, from whom I learned tolerance, acceptance, and my place as a servant to my community.  I learned the wrongness of inequality, and how the world can be greatly improved when every individual has the opportunity to contribute and fulfill their destiny.

These built upon the basic foundations begun by my very first mentor, my father.

John Fiore Verrico, who would have celebrated his 86^th birthday last week and I still feel the void left in our lives when we lost him way too young nearly 28 years ago. Dad was one of those guys who could do just about anything, even though he had no formal training or education. He left school at a young age to go to work to help support his mother and siblings after his father was gone. But he made the best of every situation. If he needed a job and didn’t know how to do that particular type of work, he taught himself the skills he needed.  

Dad loved everyone and everyone loved him. There were no boundaries of color, age, gender, religious belief. None of it mattered. He viewed people as individuals and judged them only how they conducted themselves and how they treated others. The only people that he was intolerant of were those who were intolerant of others.

Dad taught us to learn something new every day – a motto I have taken to heart and live my life by.

Throughout my school life, I had some great teachers and coaches at various points and the ones who stand out the most were the ones who encouraged me to try. Taught me equality, team cohesion, and individual value. They inspired me to reach beyond my self-perceived boundaries and not be afraid to fail.

To this day, I still wonder where my career would have gone had it not been for the very first Chief Petty Officer I worked for in the Navy. Paul Puskar, known lovingly to all aboard USS BUTTE as “Chief Push,” was my first formal mentor. He let me try new things, he let me make mistakes, and he enabled me to learn from them. He held me accountable, but never let me actually fail in an irrevocable way. He was not above sitting in the studio with the new kid through the wee hours of the morning recording radio and television shows that we’d air the next day. Some of my fondest memories were putting together "Chief Push's Time Machine" and the "Rock-the-BUTTE Show" with Push. Although he retired only a year after we first met, he stayed in my life and showed up for my Navy retirement 23 years later. Not a dry eye in the place when he read the Retired Chief's Creed.

As I became more senior in the Navy and later in civilian life with a plethora of experiences, I have tried to emulate all those great people and live to share what I have learned – as a formal and informal mentor whenever I can.

One other thing I've learned -- the most selfishly wonderful thing about mentoring, is that I continue my own learning and growing with each experience.

So, for Martin Luther King’s Day of Service, for National Mentoring Month, and for every day, reach out and serve.

Be a mentor.
Be a mentee.
Be open-minded, learn something from every experience, and share what you’ve learned.

Fresh start in 2017

The ball has dropped, the fireworks are ended, the champagne a long-gone memory, and most of us have returned to the workplace. If you’re like me, you’re looking forward to the transition to a freshly minted new year and new opportunities to learn, shine, and share with family and friends, old and new, including those we haven't met yet.

Looking back on 2016, I must admit that I am glad the year is over. It was quite a roller coaster, including a battle with Godzilla-sized kidney stone that laid me out for a few weeks. I don’t want to do that again – ever!

But more than just my personal challenges, the world lost some of the most significant talent in music and entertainment. More than 250 celebrities died in 2016, beginning with Natalie Cole last New Year and ending with William Christopher, the beloved Father Mulcahy from M.A.S.H. on this New Year’s Eve. I know my personal soundtrack was devastated by the loss of icons like David Bowie, Prince, Keith Emerson, Leonard Cohen, and George Michaels. I also mourn the loss of the brilliant Gene Wilder, whose comic wit I could only hope to emulate, and Van Williams, who played one of the heroes of my youth, The Green Hornet. And I can’t even imagine the family’s pain in losing both mother Debbie Reynolds and daughter Carrie Fisher within days of each other.

2016 also saw hideous acts of terrorism around the world, claiming innocent lives for no other reason than intolerance and mindless hatred. There can be no justification for such acts and I can only hope the new year brings some healing and peace. Although the New Year’s Eve nightclub attack in Turkey is not a good indicator.

Yes, I actually wore that suit!

All of these things stand out as stark reminders that life can be unpredictably short. We need to appreciate every moment we have. Take time to spend with loved ones and with our fellow human beings. Volunteer, help others, and take part in our communities. Take time to improve our own health and well-being. Take time for personal and professional development. Learn something new every day. Be bold and don't be afraid to fail, and don't be afraid to be laughed at.

Try new foods, start new hobbies or restart those passions that we may have pushed aside because we were “too busy.”

It’s staggering how busy our lives can get, and even more staggering when we realize we were busy doing nothing that we really wanted to do. I’m guilty of this myself. I tend to take on too many projects – my wife calls it “helium arm” – and put off the things that should be more important. Yes, the guy who teaches work-life balance seems to have a personal flaw in this area. Learn from my foibles and do what I say, not what I do. ;-)

So, going into 2017, I am looking forward to re-connecting with friends and family who we did not spend enough time with in recent years, making new friends, and adding new chapters to the rich story of our lives. I’ll plan for us to travel together more for fun, instead of just me traveling for work. And I’ll restart some of those artistic projects I’ve been putting off.

Not my desk, but the physical manifestation of my inbox.

Another particular goal is to declutter. Those of you who’ve seen my office or, even worse, my home office, are gasping with shock at that statement. My inbox is even worse. But it’s time to dig out and start fresh. Cleaning up and clearing out helps encourage that new, fresh-start feeling. After all, someone told me that my desk has a beautiful faux woodgrain underneath all that stuff. ;-)

So, it looks like I’ll be busy going into the New Year, but busy in a good way.

To all my family, friends, and people we have yet to meet, I send my best wishes for a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year filled with love and laughter.

Happy New Year everyone!

Still Proud

On Tuesday, November 8th, I was an AMERICAN. On Wednesday morning, November 9th, I was still an AMERICAN. Nothing really has changed.

Over the past several months leading up to Tuesday's elections, I have seen a hideous and vicious divisiveness among friends, family, and the American people in general. And now the hate continues with angry protests and demonstrations. Never before have I witnessed such hate and abusiveness between supporters of political candidates in our country.

Its time to stop. The competition is over. No matter which side we're on about the result, we, as a nation need to accept it, reunite and become again what makes America great. ONE NATION ...INDIVISIBLE. 

Let's come back together now, folks. It is our unification that makes us great, our right to choose, and our right to have a voice -- no matter who is in the White House.

On November 11th, we recognize Veterans Day, honoring those who serve to protect the American Dream. If nothing else, the recent election proved that the American Dream is, in fact, a reality and anything is possible. Eleven years ago (almost to the day) I retired from a nearly 25-year career in the Navy and Navy Reserve protecting that American Dream and our rights to pursue it. I was then, and still am today, proud to have served the greatest nation in the world.

The uniform still fits and I am still proud to be an AMERICAN.

What I Remember

I will never forget 9/11/2001, nor will anyone else who lived through it. But I choose not to remember it for the fear, the pain, the horror and the anger that dominated the emotions of the day and remain so predominant 15 years later. I choose not to remember it for the deaths of friends, family, and shipmates. Nor for the destruction and devastation to our way of life. I choose not to remember it for the loss of our freedoms, or the violation of our prior sense of safety.  

Yes, all of those feelings, emotions, and memories remain and are still strong today.

But what I choose to remember 9/11 for are the acts of heroism and selflessness – aboard Flight 93, at the Pentagon, in New York and across the nation. For the sense of unity, community and togetherness that emerged from the wreckage. I choose to remember 9/11 for the resolve of a nation, our determination to recover and our dedication to rebuilding. Not just rebuilding the Pentagon or in New York, but rebuilding our communities, our neighborhoods, our society, our economy, and our security.

I will never forget how neighbors became friends, communities bonded, and the American spirit became stronger. Remembering seeing the American flag on every porch still brings tears to my eyes.  

I was in the Navy Reserve then, and had just started on what was initially supposed to be my annual two weeks of active duty. Enroute to the Navy installation at Anacostia, I listened in confusion to the bizarre radio reports of a plane hitting the first of the towers of the World Trade Center. Shortly afterward, I found myself on lockdown at the base, and then ultimately, at the Pentagon.

Military members have always had an intense esprit de corps, but that day in particular I saw a coming together in brotherhood and purpose beyond that which I had only previously seen in war zones.

I am proud to be an American, I am proud to have served, and ...

I will never forget.

Trust and partnerships - interview @ Kansas State University

It's Laugh at Work Week!

Every April 1st the world begins a week-long celebration of the importance of humor – Laugh at Work Week!

While some may sneer at the concept of levity at work, humor is actually a crucial element. Historically, one of the most respected members of the royal court was the court jester. They had no rank, yet were beyond reproach. Their official role was to use their wit to help diffuse tense situations at the royal court. In Medieval Europe, jesters were very involved with affairs of state. He was usually allowed to speak his mind freely, while everyone else had to wait for the monarch's permission to speak.

Often, the jester would use his chance at free speech to criticize the monarch openly, where no one else could. Thus, a function of the jester was to act as a critic, and many stories exist to support the fact that kings did indeed pay heed to the criticism of the court jester. The jester's ability to speak freely also came into play when tense matters were being discussed. Quite frequently the jester would diffuse heated discussions by inserting humorous statements, thereby avoiding any unnecessary confrontations.

Many leaders have recognized this important fact as well:  President Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.”

Share your stories about workplaces you've experienced where humor was prevalent -- or not. Over the next week, I'll be sharing several examples from both ends of the spectrum.

Meanwhile, enjoy the couple of jokes here. And while you’re yucking it up at work, if somebody gives you a dirty look, stick your tongue out and give them raspberries. Tell them you’re channeling great leaders, like Ike!
Enjoy!

Don't let time slip away!

As we go through life, we encounter people who leave remarkable impressions on us. Nothing is better in life than meeting friendly, warm-hearted people.

But life goes on and sometimes we lose touch with these kindred souls.

Many years ago, my wife and I had the wonderful opportunity to meet a young, talented musician on Maryland's Eastern Shore. As warm and friendly off stage as he was gifted on stage, we hit it off immediately with Michael Tracey White whose band was performing in local night clubs in Ocean City.

Although we were only in town for a few days, from the first night we met, we wound up hanging out with Michael every night. And, of course, dancing the night away to his swing and rockabilly tunes. At the time, he had just put out an song dedicated to the recently deceased Dale Earnhardt and donated the proceeds to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. That was the kind of person he was.

Funny brief side bar, my wife, Bonnie, actually met Michael first. He was performing poolside at the hotel and she was soaking her sore foot in the cool pool water at the hotel while I was working at a convention in town. Her foot had been bothering her for days, but apparently not enough to keep from dancing. Turns out her foot was broken from tripping in a field nearly two weeks prior, but didn't know it. Michael teased her fiercely about it when he found out.

While we maintained contact for a few years, unfortunately, we ultimately lost contact as  work and other obligations in life made it inconvenient to stay in touch.

Earlier this week we learned that Michael Tracey White had died. While we are extremely  saddened by this news, we are mortified to find that his death was 10 years ago!

How could it have been 10 years?

That's what made us realize that it had been more than 13 since we'd last seen each other!  What a tragedy that we let this kind and caring friend simply drift out of our lives.

Michael died at the horribly young age of only 39 from a ruptured blood vessel in his throat. I cant even imagine the horror.

We spent Thursday evening reading decade-old tributes to Michael and were not surprised to find so many people who's lives he had made such a positive impact on. Friends and fellow musicians even gathered five years later to remember Michael in a tribute show. Want to know more about Michael? Read this article about that tribute event.

Yesterday, we happened to see a Facebook post from the daughter of another inspiring man that we met about eight years ago. She had just finished restoring and adding to a mural her father had painted in Hawaii. Her father was Ron Artis, an incredible artist who painted more than 900 murals around Hawaii and across the States.

On our first and only visit to Hawaii in 2008, my wife and I were drawn to some amazing blues music coming from a smallish home and studio on the North Shore of Oahu.  We entered between displays of beautifully handpainted surfboards and found Ron and his 11 children having a jam session in a room full of dozens of instruments. Afterward we chatted with Ron and several of the kids for hours about how his whole family believed in the power and beauty of music and art. We were immediately enamored by this deeply religious, extraordinarily talented and loving family.

Over the years, we thought of them often and had sporadic contact with his elder children via social media. Somehow, we missed the notice of Ron's death -- back in 2011!

How could we have been so oblivious?

Our encounter with both of these individuals were brief but exceptionally memorable. We had every good intention of staying in contact and continuing to build on those budding friendships, but somehow time got away from us. We don't know where those relationship could have gone, if we'd ever become lifelong friends. But the saddest part is that, because we let the opportunities slip away, we never had the chance to find out.

I have known way too many people, especially those who had advanced into senior leadership positions, who let their job and "responsibilities" supersede maintaining relationships and personal friendships. There was suddenly no time for casual get togethers. They'd miss important milestones or occasions in the lives of their friends. And ultimately lost touch.

We had always sworn not to let that happen to us. This week we realized that we failed.

Take a lesson from this.

Don't let everyday life get in the way of what life is really all about. 
Spend time with the wonderful people in your life, and appreciate every moment we get to share with them.