Understanding our impact!

Every interaction we have with someone else has the potential to make a huge difference, whether we intend it to or not. What we say, what we do, or maybe even how we say it, can have a far-reaching impact. 

Imagine this: On your drive to work someone rudely cuts you off on the highway, making you miss the exit and then you get stuck in heavy traffic trying to loop back around. By the time you get to the parking garage, you’re cranky, frazzled, rushed. 

Walking across the street from the parking lot to your office, you pass a homeless person on the corner. He's a regular and you see him there every day, maybe you've exchanged pleasantries from time to time, or perhaps, even occasionally, you've given him a buck or two. But today, you're not in the mood. Sure, you've got some extra change in your pocket, but that incident on the highway is still haranguing you, so you don't want to be bothered and are not in the mood to acknowledge the guy’s outstretched hand. Maybe you even snarl at him to leave you alone. Other people see you ignore him and emulate your indifference, also deciding to ignore him. Unbeknownst to you, the homeless guy is diabetic and doesn’t get enough money to buy food that day, he suffers a medical crisis that evening. But you know nothing about that, you're just storming into your office late because of that idiot on the highway. 

When you finally get in the office - you’re still off your game. Maybe in your bad mood, you snap at your coworker, Sara. Now Sara’s in a bad mood. Her whole day is thrown off and she gets snippy with others. Everyone else in the office notices the tension, now they are all stressed. They go home carrying that stress, wind up being impatient and intolerant, maybe yell at their kids over something petty,  or don’t take time to help their kids with their homework and the kids feel the tension, can't focus on studying and fail their test the next day. 

See how things can snowball? This is the power that we are capable of wielding. 

Stan Lee, creator of Spider-Man and much of the original stable of Marvel superheroes, paraphrased a quote originated by French author Voltaire in the 1700s, “With great power there must also come great responsibility.” 

So how will you wield your power? The only difference between a superhero and a villain is how they use their power. 

Here’s your challenge: Review the above scenario – think about what alternative reactions and actions could have taken place to change the entire scenario into something positive, effective, or productive. Now, think about recent situations you have been through - are there things you could have changed to reach a healthier outcome?  

 #ShareYourFire #TorchTip #Learn #Growthmindset #leadershipskills #teambuilding #personaldevelopment #Trust #Opportunity #Respect #Communication #Humanity #selfreflection

Knowledge not shared is knowledge lost

In recognition of National Author's Day, I’d like to remind you to share your story. Whatever that story may be.

Throughout our lives and careers, we have learned things. We learned from our successes. We’ve learned when things didn’t go as planned. We learned from our experiences, from the people around us, from the influences of nature.

Whether it is how to accomplish a task, what not to do in a certain type of situation, behaviors to emulate – or even those to avoid – each and every one of us has something to share with others.

That knowledge is the light that guides us in the darkness, and the fire that provides us warmth. 

That light, that fire, should not be wasted, lost, nor allowed to burn out. It needs to be shared so that others may benefit. 

Think about this. When we want to know something, learn how to do something, wonder about the quality of a product or service, or just answer a question. What do we do?  We turn to the internet, open a book, look up a video on YouTube, look up reviews on Google, etc.

What if none of those resources existed? What if no one took the time to create those how-to videos, write those books, share their favorite recipes, or post reviews? Literally and figuratively – nothing could be accomplished.  

To all of you out there who’ve taken the time to share by authoring a book, a blog, an article, podcast episode or tv or movie script, I say THANK YOU! My life is so much more enriched through your willingness to share your story.

And you have inspired me to share mine.

Although I have yet to publish my own individual book, over the years, I have been honored to share my knowledge and experiences in 18 collaborations with experts and influencers around the world. From professional texts on government communications to self-improvement and inspirational compilations, each was an opportunity to share a piece of information that may have helped someone solve a problem, achieve a level of success, or improve their quality of life in some way.

Plus, I had the remarkable opportunity to learn from all the coauthors and co-contributors in these volumes.

Celebrate National Authors Day with me.

Oh, by the way, there remains a few opportunities to join me in the latest collaboration book, “The Art of Connection:365 Days of Abundance Quotes.”

Check out my web page to learn how.

https://www.johnverrico.com/be-a-co-author-with-me

Share Your Fire! 

Pineapples!

I had to laugh when I first heard the expression, “Pineapple Post.”

Recently, I participated in a social media writing course by esteemed writing coach Deborah Ager. At one point, she instructed us to write a “Pineapple Post.” I believe she may have even coined the term, which she described as a post that welcomes people to your business or page without being ‘salesy.’

That makes sense because, in many places, the pineapple is the symbol of hospitality and welcome.

I admit, I never really understood why the pineapple became such a symbol. Although wonderfully sweet on the inside, its prickly exterior is anything but welcoming.

So practicing what I teach – i.e. “learn something new every day” – I looked it up. I learned that because early trade routes between America and Caribbean Islands were often slow and perilous, it was a significant achievement for a host to procure a ripe pineapple for guests. Also, sea captains would place a pineapple outside their homes as a symbol of their safe return from trade routes in the Caribbean or Pacific.

Okay. I get it now. But a couple years ago, I learned something about pineapple symbolism that changed its meaning for me forever.  

I am a motivational speaker and leadership coach who teaches people how to light the motivational TORCH of those around them, while keeping their own fire burning bright. I use a lot of humor in my programs, and help people learn to laugh in the face of adversity.

Because of this bright outlook on life, I am often asked to emcee events, and even officiate weddings and vow renewal ceremonies.

Friends of ours were celebrating a milestone anniversary and we were going to be taking a Caribbean cruise together which would be stopping in Antigua, where they had their honeymoon. I was honored when they asked if I would officiate a vow renewal for them on their favorite beach.

I wanted to make this special and to bring some levity to the event, so I bought a new outfit for the occasion – an iridescent orange suit covered in brilliant yellow pineapples and bright green palm leaves! Somehow, I managed to keep this hidden from them until we were standing in place on the beach. As you can imagine, It was blinding surprise in the bright Caribbean sun!

After the ceremony, I wore the suit back to the ship and to dinner that night and out dancing afterward. I had heard rumor of a “pineapple party” taking place somewhere onboard. I wondered about what it was and figured my pineapple-covered suit would surely get noticed and we’d get an invitation.

Well, the suit was noticed all right, and that’s when I learned about the alternative meaning of pineapples.

During the first several days of the cruise, I had seen several cabin doors around the ship with pineapple decorations on them. Many people decorate their cabin doors, so I thought nothing much of it at the time, especially since pineapples seemed like a perfectly logical island theme. 

Apparently, there is a subculture of folks who have adopted the pineapple as a way of identifying each other and offer a whole different level of welcome and sharing. When they saw my blaze-orange pineapple-covered suit, you might say it raised some eyebrows and we suddenly made a whole bunch of new friends.

Of course, we were oblivious. We were just dancing and having fun with our new friends until we realized that we could no longer discern the couples and whom was with whom. I remember our reaction when it suddenly dawned on us. “oh.” “Oh.” “OH!”

LOL. I relate this story as a reminder to always keep an open mind in life and find the humor in every situation.

By the way, I still wear the suit on occasion, when I want to lighten the mood somewhere, and always retell that story. 😉

Toxicity in the Workplace

Recently I have been working with a team of people who found themselves in a toxic work environment over several years. They are all passionate about the mission of the organization and fully endorse its cause and business line.

However, there were critical negative issues with management, leadership, and communication throughout the company. The senior staff belittled people, micromanaged them, second-guessed everything, were dishonest, and kept secrets -- even from each other, Because of their deep belief and commitment to the work and care for their co-workers, most employees stayed despite the problems, believing that if that they just work hard enough, they can make things better and continue their good work.

Unfortunately, the toxicity of the environment overtook and overshadowed the company's work. It also manifested in serious degradation of the workforce. A number of employees became complacent, non-productive, and even detrimental to the organization. Worse yet, several employees become ill, some even requiring professional therapeutic assistance. A few who ultimately left the company had a difficult time committing to a new company or were not able to face starting a new job altogether.

Most of the workers were intent on not giving up on the company and its mission. What they did not fully understand is that correcting deeply embedded toxicity like this takes more than just their determination and loyalty, and that the solution lies in EVERYONE being on board. Each cog in the wheel of a workplace must be in place to consciously work to make things better, more effective, and healthier. If the entire team, including every employee, senior leadership, and management at all levels, do not make this a priority the resulting side effects will ultimately destroy and bury, not only the work and the success of the company but the mental and physical health of the workers.

Through his social media "Leadership First" sites, Gifford Thomas, author of The Inspirational Leader, Inspire Your Team To Believe In The Impossible, has this to say about the impact of toxic leadership: "Our workplace has virtually become a second home; however, when the workplace becomes a source of stress for people, that stress can take a more substantial toll on our health than we realize.”

Unfortunately, according to Dr. Jean Kim, leadership can be one of the significant causes of this stress, and when a leader displays certain behaviors and characteristics that contribute to a negative, even hostile working environment, it’s a warning sign that the environment is dangerous to your mental health.

Leaders' misuse of their influence can quickly trickle down into their employees’ psyches, causing incredible distress, betrayal, anger, and can even lead to mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, and even trauma. Look out for the following traits and behaviors. This list will help you identify toxic leadership and work environments to avoid. 

Note the overwhelming theme of communication here. Almost all of these can be illuminated by looking through the lens of communication. How are leaders communicating with people, and what are they communicating with their words and actions?

Only open, honest, inclusive communication can help reduce the potential for toxicity.

#torchtip 

Coffee, Tea, or Leadership?

Not too long ago, my wife and I participated in a local flea market in the parking lot of an antique shop.  As requested, we arrived at 6:00 a.m. to set up for the event, which was to start at 8:00. While we were setting up, other vendors pulled in and began to get their own goods in order. All of us were tired, cold, and working hard to meet our deadline to be set up. 

Soon a young girl came around to all the booths, offering free banana bread muffins to the vendors and letting us know that there was free hot coffee and tea in the shop. She made several passes, always with a quick and warm smile. When someone said “thank you,” her response was always an enthusiastic “you’re welcome!”

A little later in the day, this same young lady stopped by to look at a couple of things we had available at our booth. First, she noticed an antique camera. She didn’t even know what it was (film and flashbulbs!), but she knew that her mother likes cameras. With a few dollar bills in her hand, she asked how much it was. My wife said gently explained that although our prices are negotiable, "it’s probably still out of your range.”  The girl thanked my wife and walked away.  We were to find out later that she went straight to her father to ask how one negotiated for something they wanted. Her father explained how it worked, but persuaded her that as thoughtful a gift as a camera would be, her mom would be just as happy knowing that the girl had thought of her.

Later she came back and was transfixed by a doll we had at our booth.  She asked how much it cost.  I said, $10, but for you, we’ll take $8.  She thanked me and again walked away.  Several times throughout the day, we saw her walking around the flea market with her two younger brothers in tow.  She came back periodically to tell my wife about her progress in trying to sell a few things in order to afford the doll.  Her last report was, “I just need to sell two more things and I can get the doll!”

Interestingly, the doll was Emily the Entrepreneur. How appropriate!

About an hour after that final report we saw our little would-be customer with her two younger brothers, both clutching ice cream cones. We thought, “Well, there goes our sale!” Later we were to learn so much more about this little entrepreneur with a heart of gold…

We decided that since she was working so hard and had been so caring about everyone other than herself, we wanted to give the girl the doll she had so admired as a gift. We couldn’t find her, so we put out the word to others. Soon a man approached us. It was the young lady’s father, who wanted to thank us.  He told us about how he tries to instill in his children, the importance of being considerate of others, and explained how proud he is that his daughter is always thinking of her brothers, parents, and others before herself.  He said that she denied herself the pleasure of the doll because her brothers wanted ice cream and had no money of their own to buy it.

He came back later he told us something that really struck a chord. He said that when he got home and surprised his daughter with the doll, he explained that she received it as a reward, not because she was successful in selling things that day, but because she had been recognized as a GOOD PERSON, and had made people happy by her words and actions.  He said (with a proud tear in his eye) that his daughter looked up at him and said, “I’m just trying to be like you, dad.”

We teared up, too.

And so it goes… being a leader (whether it be of a family, of a company, of a team or troop), your actions and how you represent yourself matters and has a ripple effect on those around you.  From father to daughter to brothers, this family unit shows us that by sharing your beliefs, communicating their importance, and acknowledging others’ accomplishments, you can light the TORCH in others, encouraging them to share their own passion with those around them. 

It's Employee Appreciation Day -- and it should be every day

National Employee Appreciation Day, the 1st Friday in March each year, focuses on one of an organization’s greatest assets – its people.

Recognition and appreciation are known as some of the key motivational factors in the workplace. It demonstrates how much leaders value their employees and keeps morale high. Employers who express appreciation tend to increase employee job satisfaction as well, and that usually leads to even better performance.

As important as it is to show your employees how much you appreciate them, it’s equally important to do so on a personal level. Receiving a reward that isn’t useful, doesn’t suit an employee’s lifestyle, or doesn’t show that you truly understand the achievement can have the complete opposite effect and actually eliminate all positivity. Let them know that you are not just celebrating a day on the calendar, but that you are celebrating THEM -- because they, and what they do, matter.

Even though people’s personalities differ, most employees are goal-driven. Earning an award, a thank you or other recognition motivates them to reach even higher goals. 

Need some ideas to get you started? Here are just a few: 

• Offer flexibility in the work schedule to show that you understand their need to balance their professional and personal lives. If possible, allowing a little flexibility can reap huge benefits in a recharged workforce.
• A simple thank you note can make someone’s day. Think of the last time someone took the time to acknowledge you, your hard work, or your thoughtfulness in a simple note. Didn’t those few words make you feel like you could fly? 
• Celebrate a team effort – if a team pulled together to make a miracle happen, reward them with an office pizza party, casual dress day, or even close the office early so they can spend some well-earned time with family. It doesn’t have to be fancy, or expensive… just a timely reward to show your unsolicited appreciation.
• Cultivate, maintain and encourage an environment of creativity around the office. Employees who are allowed to stretch their minds, try new things, and feel listened to can increase productivity with their energy and new skills. They will feel empowered to pass their energy onto others, developing strong, collaborative teams. 

What can you think of that would work well in your organization to show your employees how much you value them? And remember, appreciation of your colleagues doesn’t have to be limited to just one day or even one week. Imagine the outcome of a workforce that feels understood and appreciated when their accomplishments in the workplace are regularly acknowledged and celebrated all year round! As confidence and pride grow, so does determination, loyalty, and productivity, not to mention a more healthy workplace!

#EmployeeAppreciationDay. 

We Could Never Get Away With Anything - Mom Always Knew!

What is it about a mother’s intuitive instincts that she could always tell when we’re in trouble, when we need help, or if we’ve broken the rules.

Growing up, mom always knew what my brother and I were up to. My mother should have been a police tracker or forensic investigator, because she could read imperceptible impressions in the carpet and invisible hand prints on the walls. She knew when we’d had friends over to the house while she was at work, even though we weren’t supposed to, and could tell who they were, what rooms we had been in and what we were doing in them.

Even though I never saw her watch the news, read a newspaper or even listen to a news report on the radio, she always knew when it was going to rain (“take an umbrella”), who we shouldn’t hang around with (“that kid is going to get into trouble”), and when we should or shouldn’t do something. I remember her telling us we couldn’t go ice skating at a pond one day – even though we’d skated there all the time. The ice had broken and one of our friends fell in. He was uninjured, but still, it could have been worse. But she knew!

When we got older and moved away, she still knew when something was going on. If one of us got a promotion, new job or something else significant, she would happen to call with an expectant tone in her voice asking if we had something to tell her. If money was tight or something needed repair, there would suddenly be a check in the mail for a few bucks that she would say was “just because.”

We used to swear she was a witch.

She didn’t really have magical powers (I don’t think), but she did have a heck of a network of informants. Everyone in the neighborhood knew mom. She was, and still is, a stunning woman and people always wanted to know her.

Let me tell you, it’s not easy growing up with the “hot mom” in the neighborhood.

At my wedding, the photographer was so enthralled with mom,
there are more pictures of her ithan of the bride and groom.

My 5^th grade teacher used to send notes home with me to request parent-teacher meetings with my mother. I was a loquacious child in elementary school, usually laughing and joking in class. So these meeting requests were frequent. It is only later that I realized that other kids who were much more troublesome weren’t having their parents called into school as often. Turns out my young, single teacher had a bit of a crush on mom and he wanted every opportunity to flirt with her.  When I realized this, I tried to intercede by checking the “no meeting” box and used my burgeoning artistic talent to copy her signature. He was so disappointed, he called my mother to ask why she didn’t want to meet with him. I was grounded for weeks.

One benefit of having a good looking mother was that, even though I was a lousy athlete, I got to play on sports teams because the other kids and my coaches wanted to see my mom when she dropped me off or picked me up from practice.

It was frustrating as I got into high school and college when classmates who hadn’t met her before tried to hit on my “sister.” And she was intimidating to any potential girlfriends.

Yep, she is 80 years old in this pic!

Bless her, she still is turning heads at 80. She’s married to a man more than a decade younger than she and they perform as singers and dancers at senior centers and other venues.

So other than the fact that today is Mothers Day, why am I writing this in a leadership blog?

Because mom taught me some very vital life and leadership lessons. 

• Pay attention to small details. You can learn a lot about what is going on and who is doing what by paying attention.

• Trust your gut instincts. If you get a feeling that something is wrong or something is right, open yourself to delve further and find the facts.

• Create a great network. You can’t know everything, but by interacting with others, you can learn much of what you need to know to make decisions.

Happy Mothers Day, Mom. Thanks for teaching me these important basics. I love you. 

Keep on rocking the world!