A Quiet Leader and a Life Well-Lived

This past weekend, in one of the most difficult days of my life, I said farewell to a truly inspirational leader and a dear friend. I only had the honor and pleasure of having Steve McCullen’s presence in my life for a few years, but in that brief time, I quickly learned how special a gift that was.

Steve was one of the warmest, most caring and generous individuals I have ever known. He was deeply devoted to his family – his wife and four wonderful sons. If you ever need a testament to the kind of person someone is, just look at the relationship they have with their children. Steve and his family had the most enviable relationship. I’ve never seen a family where teens and young adults would rather hang out with their parents and their parents’ friends on a Saturday night watching cheesy, old movies than go out partying. They hung out with dad because they wanted to.

Steve had the same relationship with nearly everyone around him -- at work, in his personal life, and even with people who just happened to be fortunate enough to come in contact with him.

People were inspired by Steve’s perpetual optimism, his enduring sense of humor and his aura of sage calm. Throughout his career as a county police officer, junior cops would seek him out as a mentor, senior cops would seek him out for advice and entrust him with special assignments.

Steve was what Harvard Business School professor Joseph Badaracco would refer to as a “quiet leader.” A quiet leader is one who leads by example, who instinctually does the right thing, and who empowers others by trusting them.

Admittedly, I had never really looked at Steve this way before. I just knew him as a heck of a nice guy. But this weekend, as I was reading the tributes written by family members, former coworkers and other friends – and even his hair stylist – I learned a lot about how others had seen him. Many called him mentor, and even hero.

That’s when I realized that he was a role model for me as well. Without even realizing it at the time, I had been trying to emulate many of his traits.  

I never saw Steve in a bad mood. Even over the past 10 months when fighting his battle with cancer, he was endlessly optimistic, maintained his humor and kept working tirelessly to rebuild his strength. I think he got through these past months easier than the rest of us.

Steve, my friend, you touched a lot of lives and made each one better for the contact. Your quiet leadership was an inspiration to many. Your kind heart and generous spirit lives on in those you have left behind.

Your work here is done. Now rest, my friend, and know that you had a life well-lived.