When your spouse reaches a certain milestone birthday -- say, the half-century mark, for example -- you should splurge to make it a big deal and celebrate in style. Especially if you want her to still be your spouse. So I recently took my wife on a cruise to the Caribbean for a few days.
Onboard this floating resort where they force-feed you every 17 minutes or so, we found that people become more outgoing and friendly, and even a bit silly at times. Where else can you see an x-ray technician, an accountant, a PR guy, a carpenter and a couple of retired soldiers -- all men, mind you -- enthusiastically win an Olympic synchronized swimming tournament?
[Yes, I am wearing my gold medal with pride!]
But people don't just hop out of bed and say, "Gee, I think I'll dress up like one of the Beatles and dance around like a fool tonight!" or "I bet I could win that belly-flop contest if I make another pass through the buffet line." Somebody has to come up with this stuff and convince you that you want to do it.
Those somebodies are the ship's activities staff -- a handful of young, fit, good-looking and cheerful souls who are out to make sure you let down your hair, and throw your modesty and decorum overboard.
I have to say that we encountered the best of the breed on our cruise. They greeted us by name, sent hand-written notes to our cabin for my wife's birthday, and made us feel special. Hats (and wigs) off to Tania, Ashley, Luis & Von who treated us like royalty, encouraged us to take part in all kinds of fun activities and helped us to let go of the day-to-day stress we left behind in Washington DC. This is what a cruise vacation is all about!
We were so impressed by them, we made a point to go to their boss and tell him how great they were. We told him how they made our vacation truly enjoyable. We mentioned how professional, upbeat, energetic, and hard-working they were. We even said we'd come back knowing they were onboard.
You would think that a boss would be happy to know that his staff is pleasing his customers. You would think that he'd brag about his staff to the rest of the crew and to other guests. You would think compliments from the guests would show up in performance evaluations and possibly equate to a raise or promotion. You would think...but you'd be wrong! It seems the wind was blowing in a different direction altogether.
Instead of agreeing with us, he frowned and said, "They don't work half as hard as others on this ship," and walked away from us!
Wow! Now that's leadership for ya!
Not only do you not support your staff; not only do you disregard their abilities and successes, but you dismiss customers who have taken the time to compliment them. Did I mention that this guy is the Cruise Director? Yep! He's supposed to be the most cheerful, upbeat, positive person on the ship! He's supposed to be the primary interaction with the guests. The frontline face of the company.
What signal was he sending?
Well, he could have been saying that he didn't believe his staff was that good [which I find hard to believe]. Now that's a message for the marketing department -- "We hire the mediocre!"
But even if it were true and there were personnel issues behind the scenes, that's where it needs to stay. Behind the scenes. The face to the customer should be a positive, supportive one. Don't lie, but a smile and a simple "thank you" or "that's kind of you to say that." would have been all that was necessary. No matter what your feelings are about an employee -- especially one of your own subordinates -- you should never reveal internal matters to external customers!
I think the real message revealed itself in his reaction. Here we are saying what a great job his staff was doing, but not what he was doing personally. Was that bit of green around the gills a sign of seasickness, or maybe a little jealousy?
Well, Mr. Cruise Director. I have to say that your leadership style just took the wind right out of our sails.
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